


Jace Wayland is a furry? It's more likely than you think.

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Autistic Alec Lightwood, Bigender Jace Wayland, Biromantic Raphael Santiago, Bisexual Isabelle Lightwood, Bisexual Jace Wayland, Can I stress that I never read the books so, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone loves Jace 2k18, F/F, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Group chat, Lesbian Clary Fray, Lesbian Lydia Branwell, M/M, Magnus Bane Is A Freewheeling Bisexual, Multi, Non-binary character, Pansexual Maia Roberts, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Raphael Santiago Is So Done, Raphael and Magnus are adoptive siblings, Some things are inspired by some tumblr text posts? But a lot of it is from my own conversations, Trans Simon Lewis, alec and maia are best friends and i will defend that hc until the day i die, alec is hilarious though, all this gay shit is canon king, based on actual conversations, chaotic useless lesbians, ftm simon lewis, group chat au, idk if modern setting counts as an au but still, is jace a furry? read to find out, jace swears too much, jace's abandonment issues whoops, lydia regrets knowing these fools, non-binary jace wayland, oop did i just headcanon a character as a furry?, so does raphael, so many useless lesbians, they're all 17, this is fucking dumb as, what the fuck is even jace's name, yes. yes i did.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-22 11:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14307504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: gardenhoe: alas,,,,,,,,i don't careRawr xD: You will care when I beat your ass.gardenhoe: kinky ;)aleclightwood: christfurry: christclaryfray: christsimonlewis: nice





	1. when's the funeral

**simonlewis started a new group chat!**

**simon lewis added claryfray, maiaroberts, jacewayland and 5 others to the group!**

5PM

 **simonlewis:** hi!!!!!!!!

 **aleclightwood:** no.

 

**aleclightwood left the group chat!**

**jacewayland added aleclightwood to the group chat!**

 

 **jacewayland:** don't be fucking disrespectful

 **simonlewis:** :""")

 **aleclightwood:** no.

 **simonlewis:** how rude

 **aleclightwood:** not really.

 **claryfray:** wow alec is really squaring up you guys watch out

 **raphaelsantiago:** Can I leave yet?

 **simonlewis:** no

 **raphaelsantiago:** What is the point?

 **simonlewis:** so we can speak to eachother without actually speaking

 **aleclightwood:** jeez, catch up old man

 **raphaelsantiago:** I'm like a year older than you? Shut the fuck up.

 **jacewayland:** i think this is a great idea @simonlewis

 **raphaelsantiago:** Take this from your less idiotic partner; this is a dumb idea.

 **claryfray** : what a way to be a supportive boyfriend raphael

 

**isabellelightwood set jacewayland's name to gardenhoe**

 

 **gardenhoe:** excuse???? you????

 

  **gardenhoe set raphaelsantiago's name to Rawr xD**

 

 **maiaroberts:** christ

 

**gardenhoe set maiarobert's name to furry**

 

 **furry:** that's you

 **furry:** also very uncalled for

 **gardenhoe:** alas,,,,,,,,i do not care,,,,,,,,,

 **Rawr xD:** You will care when I come to beat your ass.

 **gardenhoe:** kinky ;)

 **aleclightwood:** christ

 **furry:** christ

 **lydiabranwell:** christ

 **simonlewis:** nice

 **Rawr xD:** Both of you, get out. Now.

 **simonlewis:** both of you???? need to be more specific there raph

 **Rawr xD:** Fuck off.

 

**magnusbane set furry's name to Furry? That's Jace.**

**magnusbane set claryfray's name to biscuit**

**magnusbane set isabellelightwood's name to fightwood**

**magnusbane set simonlewis' name to BiteyBoy**

**magnusbane set lydiabranwell's name to Kelloggsbranflakes**

**magnusbane set their own name to glittershit**

**Kelloggsbranflakes set their own name to leavemebe**

 

 **glittershit:** ok

 **leavemebe:** thank

 **gardenhoe:** i'm not a fucking furry

 **aleclightwood:** we don't judge

 **biscuit:** alec's right, you can be whoever or whatever you want jace

 

**biscuit set fightwood's name to fashion icon**

**biscuit set aleclightwood's name to alecfightwood**

 

 **glittershit:** that's fair

 **gardenhoe:** vvvvv agreed

 **fashion icon:** jace is a furry. they told me yesterday. they cried

 **alecfightwood:** it's canon king

 **gardenhoe:** i want receipts to back up your claims

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** why is that simon's name

 **glittershit:** well,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **BiteyBoy:** omg no don't

 **alecfightwood:** yes mags ruin his life

 **biscuit:** "mags"

 **gardenhoe:** this is intense

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** he's writing a fucking essay jfc

 **gardenhoe:** you're with him?

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** no i'm skyping alec and i can just see him in the background

 **gardenhoe:** why are you skyping alec

 **alecfightwood:** we're constantly skyping like wdym

 **gardenhoe:** man u right

 **alecfightwood:** damn right i'm right i can't remember a time i was wrong

 **BiteyBoy:** Magnus, please, I'm begging you.

 **gardenhoe:** damn he's cracking out the punctuation this is intense 

 **Rawr xD:** Stop saying intense, you illiterate. At least one of my partners can use grammar and punctuation correctly.

 **gardenhoe:** boo you whore

 **Rawr xD:** It's hard to take you serious with a name like that.

 **gardenhoe:** lmao ok a bit hypocritical but go off i guess

 **glittershit:** he bit me once

 **gardenhoe:** is that it

 **alecfightwood:**....

 **leavemebe:** maia i thought you said he was writing an essay, that doesn't look like an essay to me

 **fashion icon:** stop disappointing my girlfriend, roberts

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** she didn't seem disappointed last night

 **biscuit:** excuse me

 **fashion icon:** that was a good one

 **glittershit:** i wasn't writing an essay

 **glittershit:** i was texting people back and replying to emails

 **BiteyBoy:** i'm more offended that you check your emails more than i would ever be if you explained what actually happened

 **gardenhoe:** you didn't bite him?

 **BiteyBoy:** oh no, i did bite him but the reason i did that is embarrassing 

 **alecfightwood:** it's not that embarrassing 

 **alecfightwood:** it's embarrassing but not as embarrassing as Jace being a furry

 **gardenhoe:** i thought you didn't judge

 **alecfightwood:** oops did i say that out loud

 **gardenhoe:** no but you took the time to type it out

 **alecfightwood:** my finger slipped

 **gardenhoe:** for that long?

 **alecfightwood:** the floor is slippery

 **gardenhoe:**?????

 **BiteyBoy:** wait,,,,@alecfightwood you already knew????? @glittershit you told him????? how do you sleep with yourself at night?????

 **biscuit:** keep spamming those question marks and you'll run out simon

 **glittershit:** i only just told him because he asked

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** yeah he legit just explained keep up simon

 **BiteyBoy:** i'm not skyping alec how would i know

 **biscuit:** oof he ran out of question marks

 

2AM

 **glittershit:** oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 **leavemebe:** it's 2am can you be quiet

 **alecfightwood:** lydia threaten him again and i will fight you

 **leavemebe:** it is in your name

 **glittershit:** @fashion icon  i forgot to tell you!!!!!!

 **fashion icon:**????

 **glittershit:** i saw a really fit boy today

 **fashion icon:**!!!!

 **glittershit:** yeah on campus

 **fashion icon:** how fit

 **glittershit:** i would compare to alec but that would be weird for you so around jace's level of attractive

 **gardenhoe:** i think i'm offended but i'm too tired to tell

 **gardenhoe:** omg alec ur boyf thinks i'm attractive

 **alecfightwood:** you look like a toe

 **gardenhoe:** does magnus have a foot fetish

 **alecfightwood:** one with a painted nail

 **alecfightwood:** he pays more attention to what he sees at first glance than really focusing on the finer details

 **gardenhoe:** is that why he's dating you

 **leavemebe:** oh

 **alecfightwood:** i don't know jace why are you a furry

 **leavemebe:** jace is dead

 **fashion icon:** when's the funeral

 **leavemebe:** you care?

 **fashion icon:** people will be celebrating

 **gardenhoe:** i'm offended

 **fashion icon:** ok

 **fashion icon:** magnus tell me more

 **glittershit:** he helped me with my books :")

 **glittershit:** i dropped my books and he was walking by and he helped me pick them up

 **glittershit:** all i wanted was to go to class and i go to speak to a fit boy

 **fashion icon:** buy one get one free

 **gardenhoe:** sounds like a bargain

 **fashion icon:** i thought you were dead

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BiteyBoy: Simon  
> Rawr xD: Raphael  
> gardenhoe: Jace  
> alecfightwood: alec  
> glittershit: Magnus  
> biscuit: clary  
> Fashion icon: izzy  
> leavemebe: Lydia  
> furry? That's Jace.: maia

11AM

 **BiteyBoy** : holy!!!!! moley!!!!!

 **gardenhoe** : wow!!!! 

 **biscuit** : ? What are you chatting

 **Rawr xD** : Ignore them.

 **gardenhoe** : rude 

 **gardenhoe** : raphael swore

 **gardenhoe** : alec pls save us from the profanity it will harm our innocence

 **alecfightwood** : stfu

 **biscuit** : why is raphael swearing such a big deal

 **fashion icon** : he swears all the time what's new

 **BiteyBoy** : not just any swear

 **fashion icon** : there's different types of swearing?

 **gardenhoe** : izzy listen

 **alecfightwood** : yeah izzy listen

 **glittershit** : god damnit izzy fucking listen

 **gardenhoe** : he was nice swearing!!!

 **Furry? That's Jace.** : jfc

 **BiteyBoy** : he said that me and jace are "the prettiest pieces of shit" he's ever seen

 **gardenhoe** : "the fucking prettiest pieces of shit"*

 **BiteyBoy** : oop

 **biscuit** : omg

 **glittershit** : raphael has a way with words

 **alecfightwood** : charismatic 

 **glittershit** : vvv charming

 **fashion** **icon** : raph omg that's so nice

 **biscuit** : you guys are so cute

 **Furry?** **That's** **Jace.** : just like you babe

 **biscuit** : wow maia is the best girlfriend ever and raphael is clearly the best boyfriend ever

 **biscuit** : idk much abt boyfriends since I'm a lesbian and I love maia 

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** lesbean

 **biscuit** : get out

 **leavemebe** : correction=izzy is the best girlfriend 

 **fashion** **icon** : babe,,,,,,,,,,,;

 **leavemebe** : :)

 **BiteyBoy** : y'all are too cute is2g 

 **gardenhoe** : im cuter :)

 **BiteyBoy** : yes yes you're very cute but the lesbians are cuter

 **fashion** **icon** : bi erasure

 **Furry?** **That's** **Jace**.: pan erasure

 **glittershit** : you all lie, alexander is ultimate cute

 **alecfightwood** : i am a fighting machine (ง'̀-'́)ง

 **biscuit** : ew who gave alec the ability to type out emoticons 

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** me bc I'm a good best friend

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** unlikeyou

 **BiteyBoy** : actually,,,,,Clary is a great best friend 

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** really?

 **BiteyBoy** : eh I guess

 **biscuit** : :(

 

1PM

 **biscuit** : I hate you simon 

 **BiteyBoy** : why now

 **biscuit** : bitch 

 **BiteyBoy** : ??? America explain

 **biscuit** : simon thought it would be funny to cut my hair ten years ago

 **BiteyBoy** : ten years ago

 **biscuit** : yes

 **BiteyBoy** : ok I was like 7 what's your point

 **biscuit** : you cut my hair and now I cut our friendship

 **biscuit** : snip snip bitch

 **BiteyBoy** : ew child me 

 **gardenhoe** : war flashbacks

 **BiteyBoy** : but wait

 **BiteyBoy** : why is this coming up now

 **biscuit** : I hold grudges simon 

 **BiteyBoy** : wow, who knew clary was an evil bitch

 **alecfightwood** : oop ok

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** excuseyou

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** whattheFUCKdidyoujustsay?

 **Furry? That's Jace**.: I will end you don't fucking test me

 **Furry? That's Jace.** : I'll drop kicK YOU INTO SPACE

 **fashion** **icon** : lmao wow she's really going off you guys

 **alecfightwood** : we know

 **Furry? That's Jace**.: CAN PLUTO SUSTAIN HUMAN LIFE? SIMONS ABOUT TO FIND OUT

 **glittershit** : guess I'll see you in the next life simon 

 **gardenhoe** : exCUSE YOU MAIA

 **Rawr xD** : Christ.

 **gardenhoe** : BACK THE FUCK OFF MY MAN

 **leavemebe** : violence

 **glittershit** : we need more PSAs to stop violence

 **alecfightwood** : and knife crime

 **glittershit** : what

 **alecfightwood** : idk knife crime is bad and the number of knife crimes committed is on the rise

 **gardenhoe** : thanks for the idea alec 

 **biscuit** : Is2g if you kill my girlfriend you're buying me a new one simon 

 **BiteyBoy** : why me

 **biscuit** : ten years ago you cut my hair with safety scissors in a diagonal curvy line and I hold grudges

 **fashion** **icon** : yeah that's fair simon

 

6PM:

 **fashion** **icon** : omg wow none of us are straight

 **alecfightwood** : that's a positive

 **biscuit** : I'm so glad

 **gardenhoe** : remember when alec thought I was straight

 **fashion** **icon** : are you talking shit about my brother, wayland?

 **gardenhoe** : I'm your sibling too

 **fashion** **icon** : I'm disowning you

 **gardenhoe** : you can't

 **alecfightwood** : she just did I think

**fashion icon sent an image!**

**biscuit** : omg

 **leavemebe** : holy shit

 **Rawr** **xD** : Isabelle is my new favourite. Sorry, Simon, you're number two now.

 **BiteyBoy** : understandable

 **gardenhoe** : izzy you can't do that

 **gardenhoe** : this is not okay

 **biscuit** : omg they're crying

 **alecfightwood** : are you serious

**biscuit sent a photo!**

**Furry? That's Jace.:** omg

 **BiteyBoy** : ...

 **Rawr** **xD** : Isabelle?

 **fashion** **icon** : oh my god

 **fashion** **icon** : Jace, I'm sorry. I'll sellotape it back together

 **gardenhoe** : you can't just sellotape it

 **fashion** **icon** : why not?

 **gardenhoe** : because then it'll look dumb

 **leavemebe** : izzy ily but u done fucked up

 **gardenhoe** : @boyfriends comfort me fools

 **BiteyBoy** : I'll be there in ten.

 **Rawr** **xD** : I'm outside

 **BiteyBoy** : they literally asked us to be there just now how are you already there

 **Rawr** **xD** : I called a taxi as soon as Clary sent the photo

 **glittershit** : omg guys he's not using punctuation

 **gardenhoe** : also I'm not happy w/ Raphael

 **alecfightwood** : why

 **gardenhoe** : he said that Izzy was his first favourite and Simon was his second

 **gardenhoe** : me and Simon should be joint first

 **leavemebe** : tut tut

 **Rawr** **xD** : izzy is on the phone and is apologising and Jace keeps saying that they're being stupid and they're not acc that upset. They were half joking and half acc upset. They're saying it's the abandonment issues coming in. They know Izzy was joking

 **Rawr** **xD** : just to keep y'all updated

 **Furry?** **That's** **Jace**.: hope they're okay :(

 **alecfightwood** : they're not stupid

 **leavemebe** : I love you Jace

 **alecfightwood** : Jace you're a******* amazing

 **biscuit** : @gardenhoe FaceTime me when izzy goes off call

 **glittershit** : Jace I love you and you're amazing and I'm sorry for always being mean to you

 **BiteyBoy** : they said they know you were always joking

 **BiteyBoy** : can I just stress the fact that Raph said "y'all" tho

 **Rawr** **xD** : stfu and tend to your partner

 **biscuit** : I'm still recovering from the whole no grammar or punctuation thing never mind the "y'all"

 **Furry?** **That's** **Jace**.: wow omg he's using text talk what a fucking cool kid

11 AM

 **gardenhoe** : thank you guys sm ily all I'm good now 

 **biscuit** : we love you too Jace!

 **fashion** **icon** : I love you Jace I'm so sorry

 **gardenhoe** : it ok izzy ily too

 **fashion** **icon** : :)

 

 1AM

 **biscuit** : good night fuckers, good night Maia :) 

 **Furry? That's Jace.:** goodnightbby

 **alecfightwood** : ...

 **gardenhoe** : whipped

 **Furry?** **That's** **Jace**.: no one cares about your whipping kink jace

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rawr xD - Raphael  
> fashion icon - Izzy  
> alecfightwood - Alec  
> BiteyBoy - Simon  
> glittershit - Magnus  
> gardenhoe - Jace  
> Furry? That's Jace. - Maia  
> biscuit - Clary  
> leavemebe - Lydia

8AM

 **biscuit** : babe

 **Furry? That's Jace.** : here

 **biscuit** : i'm changing your name

 **alecfightwood** : oh god

 **Furry? That's Jace.** : nothing you can say could be worse than my teenage years

 **alecfightwood** : that's deep

 **Furry? That's Jace.** : things happen

**biscuit set Furry? That's Jace.'s name to hot topic's bitch**

**hot topic's bitch** : stop it, useless lesbian

 **alecfightwood** : can i have an explanation please

 **biscuit** : you love me, maia

 **hot topic's bitch** : debatable 

 **biscuit** : gasp

 **biscuit** : rude

 **hot topic's bitch** : hmm

 **alecfightwood** : fuck ing explain 

 **glittershit** : America explain please

 **alecfightwood** : go to sleep?

 **glittershit** : no.

 **alecfightwood** :?????????????????????????????? go to sleep

 **glittershit** : alexander,,,,honey,,,,,,,it's 8AM,,,,,,i have class in like,,,,half an hour

 **alecfightwood** : go to sleep, your health matters more 

 **glittershit** : alexander ily but stfu

 **glittershit** : clary quick explain

 **biscuit** : maia is a repressed emo who would only shop at hot topic for three years

 **alecfightwood** : wow

 **glittershit** : that's alexander now tho jfc

 **alecfightwood** : lies

 

11AM

 **gardenhoe** : guys omg

 **alecfightwood** : what now

 **gardenhoe** : simon is a fucking menace 

 **Rawr xD** : What happened? What's wrong?

 **gardenhoe** : he got into trouble but he got let off because it looked like he was gonna cry

 **Rawr xD** : What? Why?

 **BiteyBoy** : a cockroach ran past me and i yelled "big cock" instead of "big roach"

 **fashion icon** : oh my lordy lord

 **alecfightwood** : wait

 **alecfightwood** : there's cockroaches at school?!?!?!?!?!

 **BiteyBoy** : apparently 

 **alecfightwood** : should have took a bite

 **BiteyBoy** : shut it, lightwood

 **alecfightwood** : it's fightwood actually, get it right

 **Rawr xD** : I'm never going there again.

 **Rawr xD** : Don't need none of that.

 

 

1PM

 **Rawr xD** : @gardenhoe

 **gardenhoe** : ??? what

 **Rawr xD** : You know why I'm calling you out.

 **BiteyBoy** : this is for your own good, we've let you continue this toxic behaviour for far too long. This calls for an intervention.

 **gardenhoe** : okay well i'm genuinely confused

 **biscuit** : Jace. You've got to stop calling things 'intense'. At first it was funny, but now it's concerning.

 **fashion icon** : You call literally anything and everything 'intense'.

 **glittershit** : we have to draw the line somewhere, you furry fuck

 **gardenhoe** : i'm not a furry fuck

 **Rawr xD** : Liar.

 **gardenhoe** : woah the way you're all ganging up on me is intense

 **gardenhoe** : fuck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter


	4. Bob the Builder sucks ass and Jace can English

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BiteyBoy: Simon  
> Rawr xD: Raphael  
> alecfightwood: Alec  
> glittershit: Magnus  
> gardenhoe: Jace  
> biscuit: Clary  
> hot topic's bitch: Maia  
> fashion icon: Izzy  
> leavemebe: Lydia

11AM

 **fashion icon:** I would like to thank not only myself and Lydia for believing in me, but also Bob the Builder for building all our homes as well as my childhood.

 **gardenhoe:** deep?

 **BiteyBoy:** I never really liked Bob the Builder :(

 **fashion icon:** that's okay simon, all opinions are valid

 **gardenhoe:** bob the builder sucks ass

 **fashion icon:** yeah well so does your opinion :)

 **gardenhoe:** yoU JUST SAID ALL OPINIONS ARE VALID

 **fashion icon:** all but yours

 

1PM

 **hot topic's bitch:** Lydia just hacked into my Instagram and my snapchat

 **leavemebe:** what like it's hard?

 **hot topic's bitch:** for most people, yeah

 **biscuit:** Lydia are you secretly an illuminati spy?

 **fashion icon:** stop ganging up on my girlfriend, fray

 **biscuit:** HMMMM no

 **biscuit:** answer the question, branflake

 **leavemebe:** what question

 **biscuit:** are you a secret illuminati spy

 **leavemebe:** maybe

 

**leavemebe has left the chat!**

 

 **biscuit: w** as that a joke or???

 **alecfightwood:** obviously why would an illuminati spy tell us their secret identity? a bit anticlimactic 

 **biscuit:** sounds like something a secret illuminati spy would say

 **alecfightwood:** yeah well

 

**alecfightwood has left the chat!**

 

 **biscuit:** oh my god

 **biscuit:** are you all spies??!!!!

 

**glittershit left the chat!**

**Rawr xD left the chat!**

**fashion icon left the chat!**

**BiteyBoy left the chat!**

 

 **biscuit:** _holy shit_

 **hot topic's bitch:** oh I'm not

 **biscuit:** are you sure???

 **hot topic's bitch:** yes now add them back

 **biscuit:** don't change the subject, it's suspicious

 **gardenhoe:** sounds like something a secret illuminati spy would say

 **biscuit:** f r i e n d s h i p

 **biscuit:** thank you jace

 **hot topic's bitch:** i cannot believe you're accusing your girlfriend of being an illuminati spy

 **biscuit:** you love me

 **biscuit:** i cannot believe i'm dating an illuminati spy what a crazy life i live

 **hot topic's bitch:** S T O P I T

 **gardenhoe:** oop malicious maia

 

**gardenhoe set hot topic's bitch's name as malicious maia**

 

 **biscuit:** i cannot believe you actually know what that word means

 **gardenhoe:** i dont

 **malicious maia:** yo jace you got an A in English shut your trap

 **gardenhoe:** how d'you know

 **biscuit:** I'm sorry,  _what the fuck did you just say maia?_

 **malicious maia:** alec told me you got an A in english

 **gardenhoe:** ok well your wrong and so is he so i hope you choke

 

**biscuit added glittershit, alecfightwood, leavemebe, fashion icon, BiteyBoy and Rawr xD to the chat!**

 

 **glittershit:** ew why am i back here 

 **biscuit:** @alecfightwood @fashion icon    did jace get an A in English????

 **alecfightwood:** A*

 **fashion icon:** it was an a* but go off i guess

 **BiteyBoy:** my jace is smart kid, i'm so proud :''''')

 **gardenhoe:** that's a lot of tears are you ok

 **BiteyBoy:** no

 **glittershit:** ok but "my jace"

 **BiteyBoy:** am ok but i'm just so proud ya know

 **gardenhoe:** :)

 **Rawr xD:** Our Jace"

 **biscuit:** how cute

 **biscuit:** @gardenhoe how tho

 **alecfightwood:** they're good at everything, terrible at maths though. English is their best subject

 **gardenhoe:** i cannot believe you have such little faith in me clary I'm offended

 **biscuit:** i didn't even know you knew what a comma is

 **gardenhoe:** ok rude

 **gardenhoe:** Let me live, Clary; it's exceptionally rude of you to not believe in my capabilities. Truly disgusting. Naturally, I am intensely disappointed in you- therefore you will definitely be hearing from my lawyers some time in the near future. Fuck you, Clarissa.

 **leavemebe:** oop

 **Rawr xD:** New favourite found. Sorry, Simon.

 **BiteyBoy:** I'm good at science and history

 **biscuit:** that is very true but i'm still recovering from whatever the fuck that was that jace launched at me

 **Rawr xD:** @BiteyBoy What did you get?

 **BiteyBoy:** A in science and A* in history.

 **Rawr xD:** Is that it?

 **BiteyBoy:** quaking

 **BiteyBoy:** vvvv rude of you raphael

 **Rawr xD:** Did you even pass English?

 **BiteyBoy:** i got a b

 **Rawr xD:** Gross.

 **BiteyBoy:** chaotic evil

 **fashion icon:** did anyone else notice that Jace used the word 'intensely' in their paragraph

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just can't stop changing Maia's name? Gotta pay attention to the beauty


	5. scoob

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so late? not that i have a schedule or anything
> 
> but i had an exam so you have to forgive me 
> 
> BiteyBoy: Simon  
> alecfightwood: Alec  
> glittershit: Magnus  
> malicious maia: Maia  
> fashion icon: Izzy  
> Rawr xD: Raphael  
> gardenhoe: Jace  
> biscuit: Clary  
> leavemebe: Lydia
> 
> also theres a username change in this one, not that it's supposed to make you excited?

11AM

 **fashion icon:** simon the floor is lava

 **Rawr xD:** He's not doing anything.

 **BiteyBoy:** death is a dream come true

 **alecfightwood:** emo

**BiteyBoy:** _yes_

**fashion icon:** simon the floor is jace or raph breaking up with you

 **glittershit:** or both

 **Rawr xD:** HOLY SHIT

 **fashion icon:**!!!! WHAT HAPPENED

 **Rawr xD:** BITCH JUST CLIMBED THE WALL

 **fashion icon:** omg what

 **Rawr xD:** what i fucking said

 **Rawr xD:** He got on top of the dresser in the awkwardest way.

 **fashion icon:** that's not a word

 **Rawr xD:** Ok.

 **Rawr xD:** He pushed everything off the top of the dresser in one swipe, consequently breaking some shit (that he's paying for). Then, when I asked what the fuck he was doing, he replied: "Getting Away." Stunned; I looked at my phone and saw the messages- then, one second later, he's half on top of the dresser. One leg on, one off. His arms are really straining to grab ahold of something to fully pull his body on top of thE FUCKING DRESSER.

 **fashion icon:** i didn't ask for an essay but thanks

 **glittershit:** he's dumb asf

 **gardenhoe:** why the fuck is my boyfriend climbing the furniture 

 **glittershit:** scroll up

 **gardenhoe:** ew i hate that @BiteyBoy u dumb asf 

 **Rawr xD:** You're in the same room as us.

 **gardenhoe:** ok but what is ur point

 **Rawr xD:** Maybe you're the dumb one.

 **gardenhoe:** that's valid

 **fashion icon:** simon the floor is loving jace and raph

 **gardenhoe:** HOLY SHIT IZZY YOU BROKE HIS FUCKING ARM

 **glittershit:** omfg

 **alecfightwood:** y'all are fucking idiots

 **fashion icon:** i am confusion pls explain

 **Rawr xD:** He stared at his phone for three whole seconds before rolling off the dresser. Onto the floor. Where he broke his arm. On the floor.

 **BiteyBoy:** we die like men

 **Rawr xD:** At this point, it would be easier if you were dead.

 **glittershit:** yikes

 **fashion icon:** jeez

 **biscuit:** JIHFDHSFJDFSSOPO SIMON

 **malicious maia:** i wish i was dead at this point

 

1PM

 **gardenhoe:** his arm isn't broken bc it's just sprained

 **alecfightwood:** shame

 **BiteyBoy:** die

 **alecfightwood:** ok

 

2PM

 **biscuit:** SO ALEC IS ILL AND HE HAS BEEN AT SCHOOL FOR AN HOUR AND HE HAS ALREADY RUINED MY LIFE

 **glittershit:** oh no

 **alecfightwood:** yikes

 **biscuit:** HE FUCKINGFIDJIFJS

 **biscuit:** dsalkoi0fopfia

 **glittershit:** what

 **leavemebe:** i was there. this is a memorable moment.

 **alecfightwood:** mmmmmmmmmmm

 **biscuit:** HE PUT A FUCKING SOOTHER IN HIS MOUTH FOR TWO SECONDS AND THEN LYDIA SAID "alec makes magnus' kokoro go doki doki" AS ONE OF HER WEIRD WEEB JOKES

 **'glittershit:** and why were you chatting shit about me

 **biscuit:** tbh it is true

 **glittershit:** yes. yes it is. but still. 

 **biscuit:** well anYWAY AS SOON AS THOSE WORDS LEFT HER LIPS A FUCKING PURPLE SHINY THING FLEW ACROSS THE ROOM AND ALEC WAS CHOKING

 **biscuit:** THEN EVERYTHING IS DEADASS SILENT AND THEN SOMEONE SAYS "ow" AND HE SCREAMS "SORRY I HAVE A LOOSE JAW" IN THE MOST SEROUS VOICE EVER AND IM DJDSFHKDFJSFDD

 **alecfightwood:** its not even that funny pls stop

 **glittershit:** wow do tell me more

 **biscuit:** AND THIS PERSON MAKES THE DODGIEST FACE AT HIM AND ALEC FEELS THE NEED TO CLARIFY HIS APPARENT "LOOSE JAW" BY SAYING

 **biscuit:** "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND"

 **biscuit:** AND THIS GUY IS SO CONFUSED WHICH IS REALLY UNDERSTANDABLE AND AT THIS POINT IM CRYING AND LYDIA IS CLOSE

 **biscuit:** AND THEN IT GETS WORSE BC HE CLARIFIES AGAIN BY SAYING "I SUCK DICK FOR FREE"

 **gardenhoe:** oh no

 **biscuit:** "I FEEL LIKE I SHARED TOO MUCH BUT THEN AGAIN YOU JUST GOT HIT BY A FLYING BALL COVERED WITH MY SPIT SO ITS ONLY NATURAL I OFFER TO COVER ONE OF YOUR BALLS WITH MY SPIT" AND THEN HE STOPS AND GOES "BUT THE POINT IS THAT I HAVE TO REFUSE YOUR CONFESSION PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I'M GAY AND NOT DESPERATE" AND THIS GUY IS HORRIFIED BUT ALEC THINKS ITS OKAY TO SAY "LETS GO OUR OWN WAYS, SHARON" AND IMBDUSHDSJFKADOIFWE

 **alecfightwood:** tbf he looked like a sharon

 **leavemebe:** he clearly wasn't a Sharon but go off i guess

 **glittershit:** I'm living for this holy shit

 **glittershit:** i cannot believe my boyfriend is a comedic genius

 **gardenhoe:** and an almost prostitute 

 **alecfightwood:** i will steal your knees

 **glittershit:** tag yourself are you a loose jaw gay or an i suck dick for free gay

 **gardenhoe:** i'm "lets go our own ways Sharon" bisexual

 **malicious maia:** i'm a "gay and not desperate" pansexual

 **Rawr xD:** "Ow" ace.

 **glittershit:** ahhh i'm more of an "i have a boyfriend" bi

 

**leavemebe set alecfightwood's name as i have a boyfriend, sharon**

 

 **i have a boyfriend, sharon:** you're all evil

 **glittershit:** even me?

 **i have a boyfriend, sharon:** especially you

 **fashion icon:** didn't you rehearse the Sharon and the "I'm gay not desperate" lines like five years ago 

 **fashion icon:** you said you could use it in any scenario especially when an girl asks you out

 **i have a boyfriend, sharon:** yes. i regret it now.

****

****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BiteyBoy: Simon  
> Rawr xD: Raphael  
> biscuit: Clary  
> gardenhoe: Jace  
> malicious maia: Maia  
> fashion icon: Izzy  
> I have a boyfriend, sharon: Alec  
> glittershit: Magnus  
> leavemebe: Lydia
> 
>  
> 
> There will be name changes

10AM

 **gardenhoe:** look at my new, amazing, never seen before, game changing, perfect, new shirt

**gardenhoe sent a photo!**

**glittershit:** is that...that's a really fucking ugly shirt

 **biscuit:** what the fuck is that

 **gardenhoe:** my new shirt? Come on u know this guys

 **glittershit:** what the fucking fuck does it say

 **gardenhoe:** 'I didn't choose the NUG life, the NUG life chose me' then it has the chicken nugget for full effect 

 **BiteyBoy:** I hate it

 **gardenhoe:** ok well ur not the one wearing it

 **BiteyBoy:** no but I'm dating the person who is gonna wear it

 **Rawr xD:** Jace, you wear that in public and I'm drowning myself.

 **gardenhoe:** ok bye then

**biscuit:** _wow_

**gardenhoe:** pls know that ily and i don't want you gone Raph :(

 **Rawr xD:** Okay. I love you, too. Bitch.

**Rawr xD set their name as My boyfriend is a furry weeb**

**gardenhoe:** rude which boyfriend

 **My boyfriend is a furry weeb:** You? Was that not obvious?

 **I have a boyfriend, sharon:** oop

 

11AM

 **glittershit:** @biscuit BITCH IM OUTSIDE COME OUT WE ARE GOING SHOPPING also izzy is here

 **biscuit:** okaye 

 **biscuit:** ew why was there an e

 **gardenhoe:** sounds like something a weeb furry would say

 **biscuit:** check your boyfriends name

 **gardenhoe:** YOU HEARD IT HEAR FOLKS CLARY IS A WEEB FURRY

 **malicious maia:** im so proud of her :')

 **gardenhoe:** oh so she's allowed to be a furry but I'm not

 **malicious maia:** seems so

 **gardenhoe:** ok rude

 **BiteyBoy:** I just made nachos and now I don't want them :(

 **biscuit:** ur a failure

 **BiteyBoy:** I want something sweet

 **gardenhoe:** :)

 **BiteyBoy:** jace can you please buy me some donuts :)

 **gardenhoe:** :( ok

 **BiteyBoy:** thanks 

**BiteyBoy set gardenhoe's name as sweet child**

**sweet child:** :D

 **BiteyBoy:** don't push it, wayland 

**sweet child set BiteyBoy's name as nachos**

**nachos:** wow ily 

 **sweet child:** thankies ily2

 **My boyfriend is a furry weeb:** I hate you both

 **nachos:** understandable have a nice day 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
